Goodbye, 2020

We made it.

That really feels like the only good way to sum up 2020. We got through it, and while the start to 2021 looks not so different from 2020, it has potential?

I am a glutton for falling down wormholes into the past and spent a good chunk of this week looking at old Insta stories, past blog posts, and the time suck that is my Google Photo albums. There is plenty of joy in there! Lots of photos of food, our neighborhood walks, funny things our animals did, gatherings with our bubble, and screenshots of the many Zoom chats with family and friends from afar. As I scrolled through the memories, I also noticed the chunk of days with no photos, no markers of what those days held. The darker days and the ones spent holed up with myself. There is no physical reminder of those days - but they are there, settling in. I spent a lot of time in the latter half of this year “making space”. I told my therapist months ago that I was petrified of change, the unknown set my heart racing. She asked me to make space for those feelings, not push them away. So here we are, making space for 2021.

I think that might be my New Year’s intention. I intend to hold space for joy, happiness, discomfort, and uncertainty. I also intend to hold space for me. Prioritize ME. That already feels weird to type! But intentions are daily practices, not resolutions that have an endpoint. So by typing out this little post, this marker of one moment in time, I am committing to spend time with me, make time for me, and hold space for all the “stuff” that comes with that. And by doing that, I have so much more of me to share with the ones I love.

Anddddd that’s it? No long to-do list for the year. Just looking forward to more good food, more time with my squad, more books on my shelf, and more photos to mark 2021, in whatever form it takes. Love you. Mean it.

(see below for a snippet of the scrolls that brought me joy)